As I listened to the gospel a while ago, it got me thinking again. I have a lot of dreams inside my tiny brain, and yet I could live them because I have to listen to those who are very important to me. I understand that they just want the best for me, but sometimes I just can't understand why I couldn't just decide to be want I really want to be without waiting for their approval. They're not actuualy telling me not to to do what I really want to do with my life, but when you're there already, starting to live the life that you want for yourself, they give out an expression that they don't want you to be there, or that you could have done better, or that what you're doing is only a waste of time and money, or that they regret sending you to college at all because all you'd turn up to be is that one thing you really want to be.

I wonder how'd they'd react if tell them I'd like to take the road less taken. A road where others won't dare journey because it would be a road where we work with people who are less priviledged. People nowadays work for the money, that may be the reason why I would expect my parents to disagree with my inerests. Even before, I have tried to introduce this idea to myself; joining YFC, joining in the Gawad Kalinga Program, at first they'd give a really huge support, then after an ample amount of time, they'd start saying things about spending my energy and effort for something I won't get any credit for, which is perfectly fine for me, but isn't fine with them. Circumstances like these are the ones that discourage me from living what I passionately want for myself. But what is my passion compared to what is practical?

At first, it was because of the thrill of travelling, I was really the travelling type of person. Then it turned to the motivation of doing what was required of me; but then after a very long while and a particularly enjoyable event in my life, the thrills and motivations turned into a rebirth of my passion for helping others. Yes, I'm not part the Class A of my community, as well as as a member of the upper part of Class B; I am a commoner, but something within me, would not settle for that, because I wanted to believe and wanted to prove that title isn't everything, and recognition wasn't really that important. What I wanted to feel was the satisfaction of the life that I am living right now; the niceness of the feeling that you helped somewhat in a community that others see as hopeless.

The motivation, determination, and passion is already here, I just wish those were the only factors needed for me to be where and what I want to be. I hope that the people important to me would be able to see my point of view. That's all I'm waiting for right now. It'll happen, eventually.