So many things have happened. I've transferred to a good job now and I have spent so much time with the people I call my students. I have spent great moments with them and with that, I've felt such a great affection for one of them. We went out together with friends so many times and at those times you have always felt so near to my heart; but all of that changed so much. I wonder why.

Since the time I transferred to my new job everything had been so lonely. I had no real friends I could call my own in my new workplace. The old friends remained, but sadly, I felt so incomplete. It was fine then because I could still contact you through my phone, but recently all of that contact was cut by something that is unknown to me. You haven't contacted me since. I wish I could have spent more time with you like before, but it seems to me that you are avoiding me in some way, and I hate you for that. Your going away is fast approaching and your going far away from who you were before, and I hate you for that. I hate you so much!

But as the song goes, " I Hate How Much I Love You" I can't seem to just let go. Where have you gone? I still could not bring it to mind. Where is the you that I knew? Have you gone away? or are you just hiding? but from what?

I am urged too much by my affect to tell you the truth, but what then? Will anything change? More importantly, will anything change for the good? I surely have no idea... I just want to hear your voice now, just that. I just want you to say my name as you had before. I wish you cared as you did before. Tearing pictures of you just doesn't make me forget you. Why??? Even if you're already long gone. Why???