I have to stop this agony I inflict myself. I'm actually okay, but I make things complicated. I want to be aloof, flying around my world without much care... for now. I just want to observe life, and see how it might be better for me. I should stop convincing myself and just do it. Yah, maybe I'd go back to the same me again, but I have to decide to stop and think for my own sake. I've been selfish, yes... And I know that I'm not the only being selfish, but since the only person I can control is me, then I should start with myself. Let go of this madness, it doesn't do me good at all. I just hope that this time, when I really decide to do this, I hope it's for real.

I can do this!!! I know!