I feel like crap right now. I feel like I've taken all the hope that he saw when he was with me. Should I have just let it go on, and soon find out that it would be too late? or was I right in hurting him now, when it's still early and he still isn't that much into me yet? Surprisingly, I do not regret what I did today, but I just can't help worrying about how he's doing, and how he's coping after such a crappy day. Should I have waited for him to get stronger in building his esteem and then I let go, or was I right in letting him go now and still offer my time and support even after such a let-down?
Whatever was the right thing to do, I am still confused, but what I know now is that I do not regret what I have done. Whatever I should have done better, I could not take back, I've already caused the pain; I just hope and pray that I truly have not lost him absolutely. I still could not convince myself now that I could love him more than the way I do now; only as a friend. I could miss him sooner or later, but such would be because I miss the attention of a very close friend I found in a very short time; not of anyone I could have very well shared an intimate relationship with.
I hope he's okay, I hope he won't be bitter. I just wish he'd be happy and still find it in his heart to consider me his friend. I'd still like to care, I'd still like to share moments, but that would only be possible if you'd consider me someone you still trust and cherish. I wish I could still have you as a friend, I just didn't want to lead you on to oblivion and make you face it the time I couldn't take the pretense any longer. I do not want to be my own evil and depressing experience. I do not want you to experience what I experienced, especially if I were the one who would be presenting such miserable endeavor in your life.
I love you still, yet I could not love you more than the love I have for you now. I hope I see you again my BFF...
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at 3:09 AM
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