I hear a lot of people saying that they have moved on and that they are starting a new chapter of their life and even saying that they are starting a "New Life", but is that really true? Or are they just trying to repress every bad thing that happened or is actually happening in their lowly lives?
I have learned the hard way that life does not have a reset button and no matter how hard you try to start your life from a certain "beginning", your so-called previous life would still bite you in the ass. Even the things you didn't choose to happen strikes you and BAM! - you're in an irreversible present and incontrovertible future where you and you alone will have to try and reconcile with what you want your life to be from now on. It sucks that even through the blunders of others, you have to suffer the backlash of their regrettable decisions and it doesn't matter if you didn't have a hand in their misery and stupid actions, you would still have to live with it and deal with the agonizing and frustrating truth that the very decisions you avoided in your own life are affecting you because some other person decided to do them anyway.
People may at times view this as selfishness, but why can't I be selfish in these moments when I tried so hard not to make those bad decisions, yet they are flung your way anyway. Yes, it may be a selfish thing to do or to think about and to be bitter about, but so what? When those people decided to make their lives hell, weren't they as selfish or even more so when they didn't think that they would inevitably suck me into their stupidity? And because of that, I am caught off guard and displaced with what to do with my life because despite my carefully laid plans, other people just managed to f*ck them all up by their own selfishness.
If you have been thinking of others almost all your life; Almost wanting to please them and thinking of their welfare, yet they could care less about it themselves, you tend to lose it and just let go and be selfish once in a while. Your just eventually become tired of everyone else and, believe me, it's not pretty, at all. "Ugly" doesn't even cut it. It's just utter destruction - broken beyond recognition.
This entry was posted
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