I thought that I wouldn't really think much of it anymore, but I was wrong. I hate the fact that I couldn't forget about it and the dream of being there still exists. I have drowned in my tears just by thinking of it before, and yet it seems that I haven't really gotten over it. "hanguereul yeobaeuaga hago shipeundeyo," "Jinjja wonesso," " Kuremian, otteoke?"

I thought about it again today when I woke up, why is it so hard to forget what I want to be, and where I want to live my life. The thought of actually flying abroad to study and work as an icon is really, truly ambitious. It's a funny thought, but I keep finding myself still fighting to achieve it. I find being what I want to be here in the Philippines as a mere first step to actually being in what I truly want to live to be.

I keep thinking about it because I don't know if I can reach it, but I desperately tell myself that I would soon be able to live that kind of life. I hate the thought of giving up because somehow I find hope in my dreams realizing themselves. I just wish that my dreams won't pull me down and make me more frustrated than I am now.