It's so tiring to think about what I should do so that I could finally live the way I want. Even more tiring is to think alone. I'm still jobless, and I need to find a job if I want to continue with my plan to become what I desire to be. If I can't join auditions, then I'll put fate into my hands and join workshops. I have so much to do, and there is so little time left considering my age. I'm so tired of waiting, and so tired of others deciding for me. I should have overcome that problem the time I graduated from college, but no! everyone just wants to see me achieve their plans for me, and not what I plan for myself. They keep asking what my plan is, and when I imply my dreams they'd say it's crap.

There are so many things that have happened since the awful day called graduation, we went to Manila, got into a fight with our relatives, become a bum in 2 months, listening to my mom say how painful her knees are, elect public officers in the hope of progress for the country, watch a korean sitcom with so much hope that I could understand, giving up to the fact that maybe my hope as of the moment is working in a call center, and me planning to keep my workshop plan a secret, and also not to mention the fact that my sister is becoming a monster inside the house; which keeps me wondering if when I had gone home so late before, was she always like this? Oh! Life's Mysteries.

Is this all of what life has to offer? If it is, then it sucks a lot. Watching myself gain weight is the least of my problems. I may die tomorrow not being able to see myself totally happy in this lifetime. I hope that never happens. It would just be too gruesome and cruel.