What a great dilemma to be in; thinking if I am just convincing myself or if I'm really finally able to say that I'm actually really okay. I'd heading home soon and sometimes I'd think if it were a good idea to just go back for good so I won't hurt too much; but the thought of just running away from the situation haunts me, but what good would it be to stay in such misery? At least now, I don't cry myself to sleep; I don't even have the urge to even shed a tear at all because I'm at the verge of just being bitter, but I'm stopping myself at the same time by looking for a way of sublimation because in the process of such bitterness, I'd end up just looking back at the past again and thinking what had gone wrong and the cycle repeats itself and I finally end up losing the sanity I've saved up for so long... But what now? I'm even wondering why I'm still not done asking myself anything about the past... or do I consider it just the past? because no matter what I decide to do, I'm still experiencing it now.